Happy Memorial Day Weekend! I'm switching gears and changing directions. I will no longer be adding posts to this blog but you are welcome to read through the archives for encouragement. Come join me on the battlegrounds at my new blog, Embattled Warrior. Everyone is fighting something and when we stand together and lift each other up we become victorious. What are you fighting for?
At this new blog look for updated posts, pictures, videos, and an occasional book giveaway. Bring your friends and see you on the front lines!
http://fightingvictorious.blogspot.com/
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I'm posting at Jewels of Encouragement today. Drop by and leave me a comment? Happy Easter!
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Happy Thursday! I'm over at Jewels of Encouragement today. Pop in and say hi!
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Some bloggy friends of mine have inspired me to dig deep. I'm in a retrospective kind of mood and even though it's only Tuesday, I figure what the heck? Here's what I've been up to lately...
Lately I've been on my face before God-contrite, weary, and hungering for more of him.
Lately I've been having lots of fun playing with my new phone. I can play pacman now!
Lately I have decided that I need less facebook and more time in the Good Book.
Lately I have been in an enourmous amount of pain and I'm actually looking forward to surgery.
Lately I have wondered what people truly think of me and if I would even want to know the answer to that question.
Lately I have been reminded that God loves me unconditionally and that's all that really matters.
Lately I have vowed to be slower to speak and quicker to listen.
Lately I have been praying for Japan and wondering how I can help.
Lately I have been working on a new Thomas Kincade puzzle. I forgot how the simple act of putting the pieces together takes me to my happy place.
Lately I have lost weight- 5 pounds off the body, the whole world off my back. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.
Lately I've been surrounded by sick people and have not caught anything! Vitamin C is my friend.
Lately I've been incredibly thankful for the roof over my head.
What about you? What's have you been up to lately?
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I'm over at Everyday Christian today. Hop on over and say hi to me!
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In a strange way I feel a strong connection with my brothers and sisters in Japan. I've just emerged from a raging storm that has thoroughly leveled what little progress I'd made in my spiritual walk. I'm exhausted and sore from sifting through the rubble in search of something salvageable. I hear the cries in my subconcious-"You're worthless! You're such a waste!" and every day is a battle to climb out of the pit. The good news is that I am climbing out and I'm slowly starting to rebuild that which was destroyed. Amid the lies of Satan, I am yet reminded- He is still with me. I wrote this poem several years ago but I find it ironic that today I can still identify with it.
The Cross Remains
I've walked among the lilies that bloomed in spring's new birth.
I've hung my head in sorrow as I wiped away the dirt
of a few long, hard lessons traveled on unfamiliar sod.
I've cried the tears of wretched pain to a nameless, faceless God.
Of all the life I've lived 'till now and all that's still to come
I can say with perfect certainty I know that I am loved.
He speaks in silent whispers and his word is always true.
He said, "Life is hard but I am peace and I will always be with you.
I'll send my spirit in to sweep the pain of yesterday away.
When all is gone, rest well my child.
The cross will still remain.
The ashes flutter to the ground as the last spark disappears.
Now all that's left is a thick dust signaling the end of another year.
A barren wasteland covered in white remnants of the past.
I walk along still holding on the assurance of my master's plan.
Tomorrow is a mystery, could be anybody's guess.
Will all I have go up in flames or is this part of a greater test?
I'll cling with hope to the one I know who's ways are not my own.
With confidence I'll stand before him boldly at his throne.
When everything has burned to ash and there's nothing left to say,
I cannot see the road ahead but
The cross will still remain.
The past and future dance, two lovers on a summer's eve.
Never fully embracing, they drink of time's sweet melody.
They know that when the hour comes they'll finally be as one.
For now they're happy just to serve the one who created them.
For they know that time in all its seasons will someday pass away.
When all that's left is the air they breathe
The cross will still remain.
”Have no fear, I'm never far away.
When all seems lost, look up my child.
The cross still remains.”
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Happy Saturday! I'm over at EveryChristian today so stop by and say hello!
http://www.everydaychristian.com/blogs/post/9736/
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In my dream I was standing in the rain. The darkness of night embraced me like an old friend. The warm, wet drops came in a torrent and I was jubilant with glee. My white shirt was soaked to the skin but still, that was not enough. She came outside to join me and together we laughed and danced beneath Heaven’s praises. We were seemingly oblivious to the battle scars we had inflicted on each other. I noticed a child size swimming pool filling up with increasing speed. Together we dove in and immersed ourselves in the soothing water. We swam and played like we ourselves were children as the rain continued to pour down on us…
February 24, 2003
God and I finally made our peace. With each passing day I get stronger and I hear him a little bit better than I did before. I’m on a mission to find out exactly what he wants me to be doing with my life. I want to experience all that he has planned for me. I want to be blessed and I want to bless others with my abilities. I came out of the dark hole and now I’m ready to walk into the sunlight. My eyes are slowly adjusting to the world around me and the brighter it becomes the more I want to experience it to the fullest. I’ve been in a desert for so long and now I’m thirsty for God in every sense of the word.
I understand that I don’t have time to be angry and hold grudges. People are not going to remember me for all those that I’ve learned to forgive. They will remember me for the ways I made a positive impact in their life. The things that I was angry about before are becoming less and less important. I know I’m loved and all the things I need are right within my reach.
My biggest obstacle is myself. It’s crazy how we do that, isn’t it? God has all these blessings that are right in front of us. All we have to do is pick up our feet and start walking toward them. We make it so much harder when we take the long way around or ignore them altogether. We build these giant brick walls that stand smack in the way of our dreams. Then we get mad at God because we can’t find the very thing that we ourselves locked up and put away.
All God wants me to do is stop building and start listening for his voice. So I’ve stopped the construction. I’m ready to start seeking him out and finding all that he has waiting for me. Whatever gets in my way will be pushed aside because I don’t have time anymore. Everything ugly that I insist on embracing must be surrendered. How am I ever going to be able to hug Jesus if all I have are rocks in my arms?
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The other day I got an email from a close family member. She asked me how I was doing so I told her. I described my incredible Friday night in detail, making sure to sound as positive and upbeat as possible. Then I mentioned my health issues. In one sentence I told her that I’m not feeling so great and a fourth surgery is probably going to be inevitable. The gist of my email was uplifting and optimistic. No matter what is happening to my body, I still have so much to look forward to- both in this life and in the life to come.
Unfortunately, not everyone chooses to see the glass as half full. This family member that I love so much also suffers from chronic pain. The difference between her and me (her and I?) is that she stays in a perpetual state of negativity and depression. No matter how much I try and point her toward the Light and happy, feel-good thoughts she continues to remain stuck in the mud with Morla, the Ancient One. Like Morla, she seems to be allergic to joy. For obvious reasons, I can’t be around this person for very long.
Chronic pain is debilitating, depressing, and exhausting. It messes with every aspect of the human body. It causes major grouchiness, feelings of despair and hopelessness, and an overall dark cloud over the sufferer. Medication may or may not ease the discomfort but there is only one thing that can penetrate the cobwebs in the mind. When a person chooses to walk with Jesus and chooses to see beyond his or herself, chronic pain becomes more of a nuisance than a way of life.
I have had a rough few weeks. I’ve been doubled over in pain, weak, and flat out exhausted. I have snapped at my husband, yelled at my child, and gone to bed crying. Despite the bad moods, I have also had incredible joy and peace in the midst of my pain. I see God working and answering prayers and I am amazed at his love for me. It’s not all bad and I make it a point to write down every good thing so that I can look back and remember it when I hit a rough patch. I refuse to allow my body or what it does keep me from finishing my race. I refuse to become best friends with Morla or allow the Nothing to hunt me down and capture me. It simply will not happen.
In this life we are going to have troubles and the pain is going to come. We are not guaranteed sunshine and daisies; we are only promised that we won’t go through it alone. Today I am one step closer to meeting my hero. In spite of my weakened body, there’s still a lot of bounce in me yet. The butterflies are dancing in my spirit as I rest and wait for my turn to come.
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So that’s what it’s like. That’s what I have to look forward to. Oh wow. It is 12:04 on a Saturday morning and I am wide awake. An hour and a half ago I got home from a place I didn’t even know I was going to go. A good friend of mine had two concert tickets to see one of my favorite performers. She had planned to see the show with her husband who opted out at the last minute. She called me just four hours before people started lining up and invited me to go with her. Because her husband gave his ticket away, I was presented with a wonderful opportunity to see one of my hero live on stage just ten minutes away from my house. Thrilled does not quite describe how I felt.
We arrived at the concert and were truly blessed. Just being there surrounded by so many others who adored this guy like I did was a gift in itself. I was exactly where I wanted to be- not because I asked and not because I deserved to be there. I was there simply because the gift was offered to me and I said yes. Everything was amazing. We worshipped God, we laughed, and we cried. When it was all over I could have easily gone home happy just for the experience that it was. Then we got in another line.
When I realized that I was about to meet one of my heroes I suddenly felt very nervous, out of place, and unattractive. In my wildest imagination I would have never expected to do this. I had the opportunity to tell him how much his music has touched me and what a great influence it is in my life. I thanked him for coming to my own little world and blessing me with his gift of songwriting. Then he shook my hand, posed in an awkward picture and signed my t-shirt. When I asked God to comfort me this week, I can honestly say that He outdid Himself this time.
As I sit here writing about this experience (because who could sleep after all that?) I cannot get past this one thing. I find it utterly astounding that this night seems to be a glimpse into my future. Some day when I least expect it I am going to be invited to the greatest concert in the history of the world. I am going to stand with others like me and worship my Creator surrounded by the most wonderful music. Then when I least expect it I am going to come face to face with Jesus, my ultimate hero face to face. I am going to have the chance to look him in the eye and tell him how much he means to me and thank him for the powerful influence that he has been in my life. I am going to thank him for coming to my home, a place in the middle of nowhere with less than desirable weather conditions. I now fully understand that there is so much to look forward to on a day when I least expect it. Not only will I look in the eyes of a man I admire, I will look into the face of God and tell him exactly what He means to me. I simply cannot wait.
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Now that the flowers and chocolates have been devoured and admired, life can finally get back to normal after V-day. For all the married folk, Valentine’s Day was a glorified excuse to get frisky in the bedroom or pampered and spoiled. The embittered single person deemed the holiday “Singles Awareness Day” and the happily attached preferred to swoon in their intoxicated smooch fest after hours. Personally, I am thankful that the day is behind us for the simple fact that I can build up my bank account before the next wave of holiday hype is upon us. Thankfully, it’s almost over, folks. Easter is the last major holiday until July. God bless America.
I suppose I should apologize if I sound cynical. I have no reason to be sad or bitter about anything because I am married and I did receive my fair share of pampering this weekend. I have a good man and I’m thankful for him. However, I couldn’t help but feel some grief for those who spent the day in solitude. I have many people in my life who are either not attached to anyone significant or simply cannot be with the one they love at this time. Honestly, it breaks my heart and if you’re one of those who celebrated Singles Awareness Day yesterday, I was thinking of you and praying for you.
Yesterday morning I read in the book of Genesis about Rachel and Leah, two sisters married to the same man. The situation was quite dysfunctional, even by today’s standards. While my devotional centered on the character of Rachel and her sorrows and joys, I could not help but feel drawn toward her sister, Leah. Leah was the unloved wife, the one battling for her husband’s affections. Rachel had Jacob but Leah had children and that made Rachel exceedingly jealous. Not only was Leah vying for her husband’s love, she had to deal with her sister’s raging jealousy over child rearing.
She strived to make Jacob love her by breeding sons but she would never feel good enough. Her sorrow consumed her and the only way she knew to deal with it was to keep bearing children. Out of Leah’s sorrow and anger she taunted her younger sister, watching Rachel writhe with her own inner demons. She probably missed their friendship and I imagine she felt quite alone in the world. Surrounded by people she loved, she herself remained unloved, even hated. My heart breaks for her and every woman like her.
For the woman who feels not good enough, alone, and in constant competition with the world, my heart cries. I understand the agonizing pain of not feeling good enough, of being surrounded by people and feeling completely alone in the world. I understand and so too, does the Lord your God. His name is Jesus and he too has known the pain of solitude.
On the day he hung on the cross, his heart cried out, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me!” At that moment he understood loneliness more than any other human being on the planet. Separated from the love of his Father, friends, and family Jesus was alone, broken, and completely despondent. It would be three long days before he could return to love again. When he did, he made a way for each of us to go there with him.
Because Jesus suffered in his loneliness he made a way for us to be wholly, completely loved in ours. Unlike most men, he keeps every single promise, he always wants to hear to you talk, and he truly listens to everything you say. His love is more perfect, more real and lasting than any other. In His eyes you always good enough, always beautiful and you are always loved completely, madly, and infinitely. In a world full of ugly green frogs, He makes a darn good Prince.
Yesterday I grieved for the grieving but today I am rejoicing in God my Savior. Care to join me?
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Lately it seems like I am surrounded by things that are beyond my control. Loved ones are grieving for senseless tragedies, home mortgages are going belly up, and there is a general feeling of quiet chaos. The snow storms across the country seem to be an allegory for my life right now. Baby, it’s dang cold outside.
I have never lived through a tornado warning so I don’t know what people do when a massive storm like that barrels through a city. From what I understand from watching The Wizard of Oz, the best thing to do is hit the basement and ride the thing out. So that’s what I’ve decided to do. This week I’ve been taking shelter in my basement and I am riding out the storms in my life. On my knees, in my prayer closet and away from falling debris, I am safe from the torrential havoc that is everywhere. I am shutting out the noise so that I can be still before the God that is so much bigger than I can comprehend. I am watching, I am waiting, and I am listening for a sign that it’s ok to come out into the sunlight again.
Psalm 25
To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
O my God, I trust in you; let me not be ashamed;
Let not my enemies triumph over me.
Indeed, let no one who waits on you be ashamed;
Let those be ashamed who deal treacherously without cause.
Show me your ways, O Lord;
Teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me,
For you are the God of my salvation;
On you I wait all the day.
Remember O Lord, your tender mercies and your lovingkindnesses,
For they are from of old. Do not remember the sins of my youth,
Nor my transgressions;
According to your mercy remember me,
For your goodness’ sake, O Lord.
Good and upright is the Lord;
Therefore he teaches sinners in the way.
The humble he guides in justice,
And the humble he teaches his way.
All the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth,
To such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
For your name’s sake, O Lord,
Pardon my iniquity, for it is great.
Who is the man that fears the Lord?
Him shall he teach in the way he chooses.
He himself shall dwell in prosperity, and his descendants
Shall inherit the earth.
The secret of the Lord is with those who fear him,
And he will show them his covenant.
My eyes are ever toward the Lord,
For he shall pluck my feet out of the net.
Turn yourself to me, and have mercy on me,
For I am desolate and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart have enlarged;
Bring me out of my distresses!
Look on my affliction and my pain, and forgive all my sins.
Consider my enemies, for they are many;
And they hate me with cruel hatred.
Keep my soul, and deliever me;
Let me not be ashamed, for I put my trust in you.
Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.
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So I joined the bandwagon and decided to choose a word for 2011. I pondered and prayed about what one thing would be my theme for the year. What exactly is the message I want to convey to others about me? What do want to convey to myself? I thought about all the things I struggle with, all the things I need to let go of, remove, or set aside. I remembered the pain of a few hours earlier and the battle of finding worth amid the rubble. What is the word that sums it all up in a nutshell? The word is Freedom.
This morning I was reading about Hagar and Sarah. These two women produced two nations that would battle to the death for rights to a blessed promise. One child was born to a free woman, the other to a slave. Both nations believe they are the rightful heir to the riches of a royal inheritance. Only one will benefit. Which nation am I? I choose to be free.
I choose to be free from worry, anxiety, depression, pain, addiction, wastefullness, slothfulness, guilt, regret, fear, and bad choices. I choose to live in the fullness of life. I am not chained to my past and it cannot hold me captive. I am not bound by the future because only God can see tomorrow. Whatever I have done has been forgiven. The choices I make today are only as effective as I allow them to be. I am free. I am royalty, an heir of Christ, precious, loved, and wholly saved from bondage. I am free.
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So I've been doing this writing thing for a while now and I've been told that I'm not half bad. Every now and again I get commissioned by someone to add a little bit of me to their plethora of talent. Honestly, it's daunting and... what's that "i" word again? Intimidating. It is intimidating to put my hand to something that may or may not produce pleasing results. This then, is my own curse. Hi, my name is Sherry and I am afraid of freelancing.
I freely admit that I am afraid of taking the plunge and jumping into the icy waters of freelancing- writing for publication. I have a few friends who have some real talent. On any given day I can drop by their websites and stock up on tricks of the trade and opportunities to go further with my writing. For whatever reason, I seem to be stuck here in the land of "What am I, nuts?" What could I possibly have to offer the outside world? I'm one, tiny insigificant creature and the writer's market is highly competitive. Besides all this, the wealth of jobs available is simply overwhelming. I get all brain-foggy just thinking about it.
As the month of January steadily creeps on by, I am reminded that I made a vow. I promised myself that I would inch my way out of my comfort zone and do something I've never done before. I also promised myself that I would make money doing it. As I stand here atop my diving board and peer into the olympic sized pool of writer's jobs, would you say a prayer for me? I'm afraid to jump but I don't want to just stand here either. I'm freezing and that water looks so inviting...if only it weren't so far away...
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January 17, 2011 was a big day. The world had much to celebrate. Yesterday we honored a great man who did great things. Dr. Martin Luther King was a hero in every sense of the word. His love, grace, and humility forged a path of forgiveness that would change the world forever. He ran his race and finished strong, never wavering in the task set before him. On the last day he was carried home to freedom, wearing the same badge of love and peace that was birthed in him. Because he refused to give up or back down, the world slowly became colorblind. Because he did it in love, his legacy remains and people are still colorblind today.
In a small, insignificant corner of the world, a few hockey fans also celebrated a milestone. Our hometown hero, Patrick Marleau played his 1,000th game. This is significant because he has only worn one NHL uniform during his entire career. Marleau has been a San Jose Shark since the day he was drafted in the NHL. Over the course of his career he has remained a force to be reckoned with, garnering respect from teammates, opponents, and fans everywhere. His integrity and commitment to the game make him an easy favorite. Today he is still running his race, still wearing teal, and still succeeding where others have failed.
I look at these two men and all that they have accomplished. Though vastly different, they are much the same. Both of them had their eyes on a prize and stayed the course. Adversity, opposition, and physical pain did not stop them from reaching for their dreams. They ran their race and they finished strong, wearing the same colors they started in. Everything in me wants to be just like them.
When I leave this world I want to be remembered not for what I’ve done, but for what I have not done. I want the world to remember that I did not give up, quit, or change my uniform. I want to be known as someone who ran her race, finished strong, and never once thought of retreating, selling out, or moving in the interest of comfort or riches. Every day that I am alive is a new opportunity to change my world, and take another step closer to my prize. Today I am reminded of how far I still have to go. There is much in my life that needs improvement. Today is a great day to put on my jersey, step onto the ice, and go after my dreams. How do you want the world to remember you?
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Dear 2011,
First off, I want to say thank you so much for your arrival. Your predecessor was beginning to wear out his welcome. It is truly wonderful to see you. As you may have guessed, 2010 was a bit challenging for me. Because I have trouble multi-tasking, things don't come as easy for me as I wish they would. While I welcomed the opportunity to write for Everyday Christian, I abandoned my other writing jobs because frankly, I'm not good at juggling. As it turns out, all I really need is the gentle nudging from a few encouaging, uplifting friends to remind me why I'm really here. I'm supposed to keep writing.
I am looking forward to all that you have to bring in the coming months-another birthday, more opportunities for spiritual growth, a strengthened prayer life, and hopefully, new friends and new adventures in parenting. This year I hope to grow as a writer, a wife and mother, and most especially as a Christian. I hope to read through my entire Bible, write more articles and maybe even get paid for one or two. Ihope I learn how to get my child to eat an entire meal in under 60 minutes. I suppose that's reaching high but one can never underestimate the power of chocolate now, can one? Oh, and I can't forget--I hope I raise a ton of money at my Relay For Life marathon in April. I can't wait!
To all my friends who have supported me and watched me grow--thank you! I'm looking forward to sharing my journey with you!
I love you a big much!
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Nostalgia has a funny way of hijacking my sanity at the most inopportune times. I could be folding the laundry, buying a box of cereal, or making dinner. A song comes on the radio and suddenly I am stuck in the land of smelly locker rooms, homecoming dances, and detention. I can still see him in my mind’s eye, as big and adorable as ever. It is in these times when I have to remind myself that everything happens for a reason and that I would not trade the life I have today for anything in the world. It is also in these times when I cannot help but wonder what might have happened if I had stuck around just a little bit longer.
He had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen but I would have never admitted to having a crush on him. My sheer unworthiness was more than I could take when my life at home was less than enviable. Times were hard and I had no desire to make them harder. I did not exist to him outside of Mr. Harding’s history class and I was ok with this. I knew my place and was quite content with my obscurity. The irony of the cliché was not lost on me. Why would the popular jock have any interest in the shy introvert? It is a story that has played out a thousand times before and we all know how it ends. Nerdy book worms rarely get the guy. I left home the summer before senior year and began a new life in a new town. I never saw him again.
I found Dan in all his goofy glory on facebook a few months ago. When he “befriended” me, I took that as my opportunity to come clean. I thought we could have a good laugh at my expense and then talk about high school as friends and equals. Over a handful of private messages and online chats, we did finally get to talk. I was stunned to find out that my high school crush could have been my high school sweetheart. Apparently all he needed was a little encouragement, some kind of indication that he would not be rejected.
What I find fascinating about this whole thing is how much it reminds me of Jesus’ infatuation with us. He stands silently in the background of our lives, waiting for some small sign that he is good enough to be welcome in our world. He wants so badly to be loved by us but he is too much of a gentleman to force his way in. He would rather be told straight out that he is the object of our desire and that he will not be rejected if he asks us to dance. He wants us to believe that we are worthy of his attention but he will not risk being turned away. So he hopes and waits for the day when we come to him with confidence, believing that we too will be accepted.
What if we really are good enough to be noticed? What if we took just a half second and offered Jesus more than just a passing glance in the hall? How might our lives be different if we step outside our comfort zone and dare to be heard? The course of our lives can be drastically altered if we only stop and believe that we are, in fact worthy enough to be adored by someone so much greater than ourselves. He stands at the door and knocks. Must we be silent any longer?
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“Back in My Day…”
I recently came across a fellow blogger who reminded me so much of my grandfather when he was alive that I had to smile. Mr. Geezer’s comical approach to life’s progress was both endearing and thought provoking. As he marveled at today’s youth and the challenges they think they face, I had to chuckle. Don’t we all have similar memories and anecdotes of a time much harder than the next generation? Everyone over the age of 25 can think of at least one instance when life required a bit more elbow grease than the whippersnappers of the new millennium. The absence of progress can be defined in the steps we choose to take to overcome our everyday inconveniences. Mr. Geezer can testify here…
“We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it! There weren't any cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!”
So I had to respond. Naturally he would have to assume that in asking the general blogging population what their childhood was like, he would get a wide variety of answers from many different age groups. While it wasn’t my intent to make anyone feel old, I did have to throw my two cents in and see where my money took me…
“I grew up just a fraction of a second before the internet invaded everybody's lives. Pagers were the recommended form of communication and Reagan was in the process of getting dethroned. Nintendo was a dirty word in our house when my mother realized that every time Super Mario Brothers was on my brother's eyes would glaze over and he would forget his own name. It was a dangerous time to live in, my friend. The good news is that I survived the Loma Prieta earthquake, public transportation, New Kids on the Block, and Milli Vanilli…”
While it’s easy to gripe about how much harder it was for us, we need to keep in mind that our future is about to collide with our past. Everything that we take for granted now will be obsolete and worthless as the world gets ready for a kind of progress they will neither be prepared for nor equipped to handle.
“It was granted to him to make war with the saints and to overcome them. And authority was given him over every tribe, tongue, and nation. All who dwell on the earth will worship him, whose names have not been written in the Book of Life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.”
Revelation 13:7-8
“He shall enter peaceably, even into the riches places of the province; and he shall do what his fathers have not done, nor his forefathers: he shall disperse among them the plunder, spoil and riches; and he shall devise his plans against the strongholds…”
Daniel 11:24
“For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been since the beginning of the world until this time, no, nor ever shall be. And unless those days were shortened, no flesh would be saved; but for the elect’s sake those days will be shortened…”
Matthew 24:22
While we bemoan the luxuries of our younger counterparts we need to keep in mind that life is not going to get easier for any of us. We are headed toward disaster in the form of a good looking foreign guy who is both alluring and evil. He will appear as the great savior, having the answer to all our economic and social problems. That is when we will mourn for a simpler time.
Until then, it would be wise for all of us to enjoy the time we’ve been given while we’re here and make the most of it. Some of us will not see the atrocities that are coming and even now are praying that our loved ones will be spared from them as well. While we’re here we need to thank God for the life we have today and use every moment to its fullest. Share the love of Jesus with everyone you can and praise Him for every breath you take. Don’t dwell on past mistakes and failures but use every mistake as an opportunity to grow and go forward. Use the gifts you’ve been given and change the world, one good deed at a time.
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I have a confession to make. For the last couple of days I've been very lethargic. Exhausted. Sleepyheaded dragging lagging rag doll. Don't you hate it when there are plenty of things you should be doing but you really don't have the strength or the desire to do any of them? It's horrible! I kinda feel like a hypocrite. While I'm telling everyone I know to "live while you're alive" and "seize the moment" I'm laying in a funk so thick my deoderant is wearing off. Gross! I have doubted my abilities as a wife, mother, and writer. What good could possibly come from anything I've been doing lately and does anyone notice? The answer is, a whole lot and yes, very much.
I love how God works. In two completely separate, unqiue ways this week I was validated, encouraged, and challenged to keep doing what I'm doing. In the first instance, I got to share my testimony with a total stranger through my own writing. In the second, I was contacted to be a contributor to another Christian website. Score! No, my efforts are not in vain. Yes, I am valued and needed in God's kingdom. Yes, people do notice. I am endlessly in awe of how God speaks to me. Every single time I start to doubt myself or my abilities, God comes through reminding me that I am valued, treasured, and needed in His kingdom. I stand amazed.
Aside from all this, today is the first day of fall! Hockey season is literally right around the corner. The leaves are getting ready to change into their more colorful wardrobe and the weather (God willing) will begin to cool down. I get to take out my sweaters, slippers, and hot tea without a shred of guilt. Oh bliss! The best part- I get to do it all while I sit at my keyboard.
Today I am reminded that while funk is temporary and waking up is hard to do, a bit of encouragement goes a long way. I am needed and wanted in God's kingdom. That is enough to get excited about in a big way. How about you? Are you stuck in a funk? Feeling unimportant or unworthy? Be encouraged! God thinks you're awesome and he gave you the job you do best to prove it. So wake up and get to work!
Happy Fall!
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For those who have been following me for some time, I apologize for the reduncance of this post. I seem to be on a theme lately of self examination and "making it count". I'm not sure why except that for some reason, I just feel that time is of the essence. Take that as you will.
September 13, 2010
For the rest of the world, the ninth anniversary of the September 11th attacks is over. The living victims were honored and the fallen paid tribute. The day of remembering and mourning is behind us and life has resumed as usual. For some reason, I am having a harder time falling back into routine. Over the weekend I watched countless videos of footage of the tragedy, reliving the horror as if it had only just happened moments ago. I cried anew as I watched my east coast brothers and sisters succumb to their new reality. Nothing would ever, ever be the same. On this day nine years ago New York City was in the throes of the aftermath. Stricken by shock and grief, only the strongest of hearts could begin the gruesome and gut-wrenching task of cleaning up. For the rest of us, the weight of what we had just witnessed was finally sinking in.
As I think back and remember where I was and what I was doing I am struck by the fact that the events of that fateful day are just as surreal today as the moment they happened. This many years later I still cannot wrap my mind around the constant haunting truth. My America has been maimed. I suppose the reason why I am still grappling with this tragedy on a day as insignificant as today is because I have questions.
I have seen pictures of the people standing in the windows of the World Trade Center in the moments before its collapse. I have witnessed the desperation of a few tormented souls who refused to die at the hands of a crumbling, burning building. For those, their only way out of the nightmare was a quick and painless jump. Just as I did nine years ago, I grieve for all that was lost and cannot be reclaimed. I ache for mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers. I cry for my homeland and still wrestle with my mind. How does one make sense of the sheer madness of it all? How does one come to grips with an unimaginable reality?
When the terrorists plunged their hate into the side of my America, were they truly convinced that they were in the will of God? Were they acting out of obedience to religion or God or some other unseen force? Were they at all concerned about their eternal future and what perhaps awaited them on the other side? Were they counting their sacrifice as worthy of the price they would ultimately pay? When they plunged their hate into the side of my America, did they have any regrets about what they were about to do? What were they thinking?
When the people stood in the windows looking out at the city below them, were they hoping and waiting for a miracle to save them? Did they know that their final moments on earth would be spent in a time bomb made of steel and concrete and hopes and dreams? Did they have time to say goodbye to loved ones before they took their final step into eternity? What were they thinking as they looked down at the city below?
Today on such an insignificant day, I am drawn repeatedly back into my own thoughts on this tragedy. When I am called to say goodbye to the world, how will I be remembered? Is the time I am spending now going to count for anything after I am gone? When all is said and done, what will be the quality of the content between the first date on my tombstone and the last? Will the passing of my life be celebrated or will my life be celebrated because of its passing? Am I giving? Am I loving? Am I sharing, helping, reaching, and forgiving? Am I truly living while I am alive? These are the questions I continually ask myself. I can only hope that in discovering the answers, I make the most out of my journey here before it slips away for all of eternity.
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