Since coming home from Disneyland I’ve been a bit lethargic lately. Bronchitis has had a stranglehold on me and our home mortgage situation is less than optimistic. My mother in-law is back in the hospital with more heart trouble. To say that we are living in a time of uncertainty is an understatement. We are very much waiting on God and trusting and believing in His promises. He is the only One who can make perfect sense out of the chaos.
When I got up this morning I headed straight to my Bible in the hopes that I might hear from the One who gives me hope and strength. My devotional didn’t seem to be speaking to me so I turned to the first chapter in Genesis. There in the notes, was the message God wanted me to hear. “God makes order out of chaos.” My mind went back to all the times in history when this was true. In Exodus, He parted the Red Sea so that Israel could escape Pharaoh’s army unharmed. After finding their way to the Promised Land, God provided Israel with written commandments and rules to follow, thus making order out of their chaos. He sent Jesus into the world to bring order into the lives of every living person corroded with chaos. Thousands upon thousands of stories confirm this truth. God is a God of order.
A little later I came across a story of a woman who witnessed a miracle. She was on a mission to raise funds for her best friend who was fighting breast cancer. At 4am on the day she was set to standup-paddle for 40 miles, she prayed and asked God to reveal himself and His creation. Once again, God heard and answered prayer. Read this amazing story here.
I might not understand everything that is happening around me but I serve a God who still performs miracles and still hears and answers prayer. He brings order out of chaos, restores hope, and reveals himself in mighty, fantastic ways. I have nothing to fear or worry. My God is alive and still making himself known amidst the chaos.
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Have you ever had one of those weeks where things just did not go the way they were supposed to? Everything went wrong. The car died. The kids drove your insanity level to new heights, and at every challenge, you failed the test. Instead of responding in kindness, you snapped. Instead of trying to teach obedience, you yelled. Instead of trusting God, you worried. That was me last week. If I had been accused of being a Christian, a conviction would be unheard of. The jury would have thrown my case out. I would have been labeled a nut-case but nothing more. By the end of the week I was exhausted, defeated, and bordering on depressed. I felt like a complete failure and not worthy of the speck of sand on my Father’s shoes.
That’s why I found my devotional from Beth Moore so refreshing and timely this morning. Beth has coined a phrase that I’m going to adopt. She says that when she dies, she wants her tombstone to read, “God got tired.” Thank you so much, Beth. I’m glad to see that I am not the only person on earth who is high maintenance. If Beth Moore struggles, that means there’s hope for me. As it turns out, there’s more than hope. There are unfathomable promises for me any time I start to wonder or worry if I’m going to make it.
I shared my sentiments on the last few days with my pastor’s wife. Here’s what she had to say…
“You need to remember that there is a big difference between conviction and the enemy making you feel defeated. The Holy Spirit convicts and the enemy will sometimes try to mess around with us to make us feel defeated and hopeless. In Christ, you are an overcomer and yes there is always hope for us all thanks to His grace and mercy…We recognize our mistakes and grow from them. That is part of the sanctification process…”
As I ruminated on what she said I began to wonder. What exactly does God say about me? Who am I, really? For anyone else who might be wondering, I’ve got just a few of the answers.
I am royalty. I am chosen, holy, and special and filled with his light. (1 Peter 2:9)
I am his adopted daughter and deeply loved. (Romans 8:17)
I am more than a conqueror. (Romans 8:37)
I am a friend of Jesus. (John 15:15)
I am a new creature in Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I am redeemed and forgiven by the grace of Christ. (Ephesians 1:7)
I am blessed. (Ephesians 1:3)
I am God’s beautiful work of art, created to bless others with my talents and abilities. (Ephesians 2:10) *This one is my favorite!*
I am engraved on his heart and on his hands. (Isaiah 49:16)
I have also concluded that I am worthy the work that He puts into me. As much trouble as I seem to be to God, He never gets tired of molding and shaping me into the creature that He created me to be. The way I figure it, I must be pretty dang important, or He wouldn’t spend this much time perfecting me. As He reminded me this morning, what I do does not dictate who I am. I messed up. This does not make me a lost cause or an immediate defect that deserves to be tossed in the garbage. It makes me human and prone to imperfections, mistakes, and weaknesses.
There will be challenging days or weeks where we fail or miss the mark. I think we’re being called to remember that it’s not over until He says it is. Every day is a new opportunity to grow and learn from the previous day’s mistakes. Every day is a new chance to remember who we are for real in Christ. We are worthy of His time and all the endless hours of work He puts into us. In that sense, I don’t mind being high maintenance. After all, I am a work in progress!
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