June 1st, 2010
Lamentations 3
I remember the years of fear, uncertainty, judgment, and depression. Every day was challenging but still filled with the miraculous. While my life is drastically different than it was back then, God is still providing for me, still giving me what I need, and still patient in the midst of my battles and struggles. Every day I see evidence of His love, despite my failures. Whatever pain I am experiencing is either the result of bad choices or simply life in all its beautiful, disastrous glory. I cannot change what is done, I can only change myself. I cannot make someone be anything other than what they are. I can only change myself. Every day is a chance to take inventory and make necessary steps toward maturity. What am I holding onto? What do I need to get rid of? How am I allowing God to mold me into something beautiful?
Read More......
Forgive me as I claw my way through through the fog. I have a really good story to tell, I promise. I wanted to explain to you how the manzanita tree is just like a Christian. There are so many ways in which we parallel and I wish with everything in me that I could share my newfound knowledge. I have been talking with God and he's been talking with me. Unfortunately, I just can't make my mind and thoughts cooperate.
The endometriosis is returning and I have had better months where the pain wasn't quite so severe. Torn between trying to preserve my estrogen supply and sticking to a diet that does not feed this hateful disease, I am sort of in limbo. I want to slow down the aging process but I don't want to be in pain. I want to avoid hot flashes but I don't want the monster to continue to grow inside me, unmercifully. It is such a vicous cycle and I am exhausted.
Try and hang in there with me. I have a story to tell- many stories, actually. There are so many ideas inside that are waiting to be formed. When I am able to clear the cobwebs and the cramps, I will be back and I will share with you how God is speaking to me. Fighting...I will overcome.
Read More......
Posts
