Vapor

Since I got the news on Friday I have been haunted and saddened ever since. While I would not have called her my friend, she was someone I saw once or twice a week for years. She was friendly and treated me like a person instead of just another customer. The last time I spoke to her she was smiling. I don't know what her life was like at home, who she was close to, what she liked and disliked about working at the grocery store. I do know that her end was tragedy and for those that loved her, heartbreak will be their companion for the foreseeable future. In my mind I wonder why it had to be her time. Was she ready for her eternal dwelling, wherever it is now? Did she have a chance to say a final goodbye to those she loved, never expecting that she would not come home? Did she in her last moments, call out to a God that loves her and did they embrace each other as she breathed her last? Every day that I ponder these questions I am forced to look at my own life. I am a vapor- so easily extinguised and here for such short time. Is my light reaching into into the darkness or is it hidden beneath the worldy distractions and obligations that clutter up my existence? What message am I sending to the world around me? Am I Bible that people would choose to read or just another ordinary paper back book- easily read and easily discarded? How am I impacting the world around me, for better or for worse? If today were my last, how would people remember me? Have I tried my hardest to make a difference in my life and those around me or have I simply taken up space? As I move through my day, these are the questions that assault me. I can only hope and pray that as the answers come, love will conquer all and the mistakes I've made will not be as significant as the steps I've taken to overcome them. I am a vapor, easily extinguished and here for such a short time...