Calamitous Miracle

Call it corny but I have a confession to make. I used to write letters to myself. There was a time not so very long ago when the face in the mirror was the one I most despised. Self-loathing was a familiar evil that embraced me every time I tried to succeed at anything. Depression was the cloak of destruction I wore and it fit very snug. Eventually I came to a point where I was able to see past the hatred if only for a moment. During these quiet times I would search for something positive about myself and then write it down. I think my hope was that I would discover these letters and remember where I was and how I had progressed during the darkest periods of my life. Recently I was rummaging through my old journals and came across three of these letters to me. One was a ridiculous attempt at poetry which I promptly burned. The other seemed like a half hearted attempt that was probably meant to uplift but fell miserably short. The final, posted here was a heartfelt “Way to go, I’m so proud of us!” What I’ve noticed about this last letter was that much of it can still be applied to my life today. If you feel like you can relate, feel free to insert your name where appropriate.

February 11, 2003

Dear Sherry,
When I look at you from a distance I’m so proud of you. You’ve made a lot of mistakes and you’ve taken the hard way more often than not but that’s what’s so admirable. Each time you fail or fall down you grow a little stronger. In a word, you are a fighter. You wear your bruises in a proud but humble way and you never forget to thank God for even minor achievements. Instead of putting yourself down all the time, make an effort to congratulate yourself for the things you did right or didn’t do wrong.

You are a good friend who only asks the same in return. Notice these things! There’s no limit to all the creative energy swelling up inside you. God wants to use it so let him. Stop being afraid and look forward, anticipating good things. You’re not perfect but who is? You’re always reaching for something better because in your heart you know it is right within your grasp. Claim what you are after and don’t let anyone or anything block the entrance to your dreams. Allow God the freedom to do all that he has planned for you. Listen to his instruction and do what he says. Have faith in yourself. The more of you that you give away the brighter you shine.

Love,
Me